Chicago, IL it’s Chicago o’clock

Good evening. The tabs are still open.

JD Locke

i sell protein cookies and take shirtless photos. that's the whole thing.

this site is a trap. a friendly one. i'm JD: ex-fraud investigator, current cookie founder, future best CMO of my generation. everything here is designed to make you laugh, buy cookies, or hire me. it's working. keep scrolling.

cookie co-founder online coach
JD Locke smiling after a gym workout, wearing a gold chain and black shorts
100K+followers across platforms
1,000+members get first dibs every Friday ↗
Try VARE Fresh-baked Friday Drops across Illinois
02 / Chapter 01 members only-ish

Come sit closer
to the oven.

Not a newsletter. More like the front row for what VARE is building next.

1,000+ members get first dibs every Friday. Join Chapter 01

The wall of love.

First bites. Honest faces. Very little playing it cool.

“10 out of 10.” Also: all about the fiber.
Another first bite, caught on camera.
03 / Right now

Current tabs open.

01

Shipping VARE Friday Drops across Illinois.

02

Coaching clients 1-on-1.

03

Documenting the climb to become this generation’s best CMO.

05 / The climb

I’m JD Locke. Cincinnati raised me. Chicago is home. More than 100,000 people found me through fitness, but the real story has always been the work underneath it.

Now I’m co-founding VARE, coaching clients online, and competing as a natural bodybuilder.

The missionBuild VARE in public, become this generation’s best CMO, and show enough of the real climb that nobody has to guess how it happened.
06 / Questions I get

Unserious FAQ.

Do you actually eat the cookies?
Yes. That's the problem. Quality control is a lifestyle.
Can I get a discount?
No. But there's a free cookie thing floating around. Go find it.
Are you a real coach?
NASM-certified, yes. I will count your macros and judge your squat.
Why is your website like this?
Because normal websites are boring and I got bored.
Can I hire you?
Coaching, marketing, podcast guest: yes. Anything else: probably not.
07 / Previously, on JD

The lore.

A highly selective history of the moments that somehow became the plot.

  1. Started baking protein cookies in a Chicago home kitchen

  2. Launched the Friday Drop: order by Tuesday, cookies by Friday

  3. 1,000+ people joined Chapter 01

  4. Stood in the middle of the street holding a giant QR code for free cookies

  5. Still not doing cardio

08 / Press + collabs

Need a good guest with more than one answer?

Podcasts, stages, publications, thoughtful collaborations. If the conversation has some depth and the room has some curiosity, I’m interested. Press photos and a short bio are available on request.

DM me on Instagram
09 / In real time

Watch it happen.

Normal founder behavior.
Founder strategy meeting, couch edition.